Your mind and your mindset are constant companions but they don’t always work in your favour. Limiting beliefs can seriously hold you back – hello “I’m not good enough” and “I’ll never achieve that goal”!
Have you ever found yourself thinking you can’t do something or don’t deserve recognition when you didn’t actually have proof that this is true? That’s your mindset getting in the way of you living your full potential.
Learning about limiting beliefs and how to resolve them was a turning point in my life a few years ago and today I invite you to do an exercise to remove some of those mental barriers.
What are limiting beliefs?
Anything from “how did I get an invite to this prestigious event?” to “it’s rude to ask for a pay rise, I’m ungrateful” or “I didn’t go to an Ivy League university, I have no chance of landing this job” are limiting beliefs.
What makes them so weird and turns them into barriers is that we’re not aware of how often we tell ourselves these things. We also don’t realise that we might be the only person thinking this exact thing about ourselves. And then, of course, we have absolutely no proof that the beliefs are actually true.
Yet: we think them anyway and we act accordingly.
It’s time to work through these beliefs once and for all
One of the first things I work on with my coaching clients is identifying and starting to resolve some of their limiting beliefs. When your mindset changes, so much more becomes possible. It’s a transformational shift and it’s an important step that opens many doors along the way.
If you think that you don’t deserve a pay rise or promotion, you will act accordingly and that will keep you feeling stuck in your role and your career, as well as your financial situation. That’s not helpful, so let’s get unstuck.
How to resolve your limiting beliefs
It’s not as simple as saying “I deserve a pay rise” and “I deserve a promotion”. Resolving your negative beliefs is not a matter of lying to yourself, because your brain is smart and will see right through it. Which means you won’t make progress, no matter how much you want it.
Instead, here are 5 concrete steps to help you resolve those beliefs.
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Identify your beliefs: Identify the beliefs you have about yourself and write them down.
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Verify your beliefs: Check whether the belief is actually true. Ask yourself if you have proof that your beliefs are actual facts.
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Feel those beliefs: How do you feel when you think these negative thoughts and when you believe they are true? This is your opportunity to really wallow in self-pity – let it all out! Write these feelings down.
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Project a new feeling: Now imagine that your negative beliefs aren’t true. Imagine they are completely gone from your mind. How does this feel? What happens in your mind and your heart? Write this down too.
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Resolve and reframe your beliefs: Finally, change the wording of your beliefs. Don’t just flip them into a positive version but create something that truly resonates with you.
Here is an example:
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“Successful people are just lucky”.
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Nope. There is no proof that all successful people got to where they are through sheer luck.
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How I feel thinking this: insignificant; hopeless; defeated.
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How I feel without this thought: energised; excited; ready to take risks.
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What I can think instead: “I can use my talents and skills to create my own success and take inspiration from other successful people”.
Over to you!
Use this template and see what beliefs you can come up with. It’s a helpful exercise I’ve used many times myself. Some beliefs are easier to tackle than others, but persist and I promise you’ll notice a change.
Before I sign off, I want to ask for your help:
I’m looking for 10 people who are working in data and/or technology and who want to focus on their career development in 2023. I’m offering a FREE coaching session to help you work towards your career goals, in return for your feedback on my upcoming coaching offer.
If this sounds like you, email me back to book your call. If you have friends who could be interested, please share this message with them.
Thank you and have a great week!
Eva