Picture this: you’ve been introduced to someone who is an expert in their field and have drafted the perfect email to follow-up on your conversation. In it, you ask for advice. You can’t wait to receive their answer.

And then? No response. What a bummer!

Let me share with you an approach for actually getting a response. I learned this from Adam Grant – yes, THE Adam Grant.

The Challenge:

You want to ask people for help or advice, but don’t get a response to your question. You worry that they don’t want to help you but you’re not sure exactly what’s going on, because, well, they don’t reply.

The Solution:

Before asking people for stuff, ask them how to ask them for stuff.

Let me explain:

In 2018 I attended the Tableau Conference where Adam Grant gave the keynote. Aside from Andy and me being recognised in his talk as the “most giving people in the community” through our #MakeoverMonday project, I was also fortunate to attend a luncheon for Zen Masters and Ambassadors where we got to meet Adam.

During this event he told us about his own journey and how he likes helping people, so I asked him what the best way is to ask him for help (because I had something in mind that I wanted to ask him about). He told the audience to send him an email and how to structure that email to ensure a response from him.

This really stuck with me and ever since I have made an effort to ask people how I should get in touch with them after our initial meeting. I ask them about their preferred contact method. I also try to find out whether they like straight up, direct communication or want a bit more of a conversation before talking about business.

If you’ve not tried this before, I highly recommend it. Forming professional relationships and building your network isn’t easy. This approach removes ambiguity, helps you communicate clearly with others, and start conversations that work well for both sides.

The Next Step:

The coming months will offer virtual and in-person events for many of you. Whether you attend online webinars or an in-person conference, give the above method a try.

When you meet someone, simply ask them some of these questions:

• What’s the best way to stay in touch with you?

• If I come across an interesting opportunity, how should I contact you about it?

• Would you be interested in staying connected? (If yes) what’s the best way to reach out to you?

• I really enjoyed your talk. I’d love to find out more about <topic>. Is it ok if I send you an email about it or is there a better way to reach you?

You’ll find your own best way of asking these questions and they always depend on the situation as well. Hopefully now you have a fresh idea and starting point for forming those long lasting relationships and for getting answers and help when you need it.
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Oh and if you’re curious, my preferred way to be asked for stuff is this:

1. Establish the relationship (e.g. if we’ve met, that’s step 1 done. If we haven’t met before, then open up with a little bit of small talk)

2. Ask clearly for the thing you want (this helps me figure out whether I can help you or should refer you to someone else)

3. Feel free to add more small talk afterwards, especially if it makes you feel better about having asked for something (optional)
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I genuinely like helping people and I don’t mind a direct approach, as long as we’ve established a basic relationship so that I know who I’m talking to.

If you want to test this out on me, why not comment right now and send me your question?

​Have a great week!

Eva