Have you ever noticed that some of the most important things at work are not covered in your onboarding session?
Like how real decisions start as hallway conversations, not in meetings. Or how the best ideas often come when you step away from your desk and have a casual coffee chat instead.
In one of my jobs I noticed that the same engineers would get together for coffee in the kitchen every single day at the same time. For anyone walking past this could look like a ‘nice break’ or maybe even procrastination. But the kitchen wasn’t just a place to grab a cup of coffee. Every time I joined the conversation people were talking about the tech, about ideas they had, approaches they tried, difficulties they’d moved past. Some of the biggest breakthroughs happened thanks to these conversations.
In this newsletter, I want to dive into the unwritten rules of the workplace. The stuff nobody tells you upfront and that you often have to spend months or years figuring out. And why they matter more than you think.
Let’s get into it!
One company’s coffee breaks are another company’s 10 minute quizzes or after-work drinks. The activities that glued a team together in all of my career were always those that took us away from our desks and gave us a chance to be creative, social and switch to a different mode of thinking before coming back with new ideas and solutions.
What have you noticed in your workplace? Are there people who seem to have a way of working together that seems particularly effortless? What makes them different? Have they been through many highs and lows together and bonded over that experience? Do they know something about the workplace culture that you may not?
An easy way to find out is to ask them. Share your observations and ask them how they’ve become a close knit team and what has helped them be successful.
If you’ve recently started a job or you’re about to move to a new role, it’s your opportunity to decipher the unspoken and unwritten rules.
- If you have a buddy, ask them about social initiatives in the workplace, whether people get together after work or if there are any internal clubs you can join.
- In your 1:1 with your manager ask specifically about what it takes to be successful, e.g. what are the expectations around communication, presentations, where can you get involved for more impact, etc.
- Observe. You’ll notice a lot when you look and listen and it will help you come up with the right questions to ask to better understand the organisation’s culture and unwritten rules.
Early in my career I worked on a client project where the people dynamics were, let’s call it “challenging”. There was a lot of tension in the project and everyone had their own agenda. Had I walked into this project as an eager, dressed-up consultant, I would have failed quickly and missed many learning opportunities.
Instead, my manager took the time to brief me before every meeting so I could make the most impactful contribution while also understanding all the dynamics at play. One day he sat me down and said “Eva, you’re great at what you do and I really value your skills and attitude. I have a meeting coming up with Alex, Richard and Sanjay and it’s going to be tense. They won’t like what I have to tell them. I need a woman in the room. I need you to come along because you will ease the tension and help me manage the situation. I encourage you to observe and listen and see what you can pick up. Take notes and we can debrief afterwards.”
What a GAMECHANGER. He said the quiet things out loud in all the right ways. He gave me a specific role in the meeting and made it very clear that he saw a lot more in me. In this discussion with senior leaders at the client my contribution as a very new consultant would be to help him diffuse the tension. He helped me learn during the meeting and I vividly remember the debrief – we went play by play through the meeting and what all of it meant for the project and our team.
The fact I am sharing this particular story shows you what an impact it had on me. I decided right there and then to always share the unwritten rules with my colleagues so they’d find it easier to be successful and have an impact in their roles.
And for junior team members in particular it is invaluable to learn how to work not just what to do.
I want to encourage you to think about this too and show up as someone who brings clarity to your organisation’s culture.
Have a great week!
Eva
P.S.: If this resonates with you and you’d like help navigating your own workplace, book a discovery call, because helping people be the best they can be in their job is something I am wildly passionate about!