Ask people how they like to work and many will (quietly) reveal themselves to be far more introverted than we think.
In a world that celebrates extroverts and A-type personalities, you might feel that introversion isn’t a desirable quality. But it is. As someone who discovered her own introvert tendencies only in the last few years, I think it’s important to stay true to yourself and how you like to work and interact with people.
Where do you draw your energy from?
A very insightful book is Quiet by Susan Cain, which helped me understand myself better.
For example, the extroverted me draws a lot of energy and excitement from public speaking, getting on stages and being surrounded by great people. After each of those situations, however, my introverted side comes out and craves solitude. I need alone-time to decompress, relax and ‘reset’ myself before I can go out there and do it all again.
I’ve come to really enjoy solitude and I’m never bored with my own company. I don’t feel lonely, rather I enjoy being alone, especially when it’s not permanent.
Maybe you feel similarly. If you do, I recommend finding the things that give you energy and make you feel good. You may end up with a list of opposite activities (e.g. go to a concert vs read a book), so alternate those ideas to create balance for yourself.
Don’t change who you are to please others
No one is keeping score. If you don’t want to go out for drinks after work, don’t.
I used to enjoy socialising with colleagues at least once a week. (full disclosure: being unhappy in a relationship made me want to spend more time at work than I otherwise would have)
Today, I enjoy being surrounded by my colleagues when we’re in the office or at an event, but I spend my personal time with my loved ones and my ‘non-work friends’ and I’m happy with that. It doesn’t harm my career because no one actually keeps score of what I do after hours.
You might feel like you have to be seen doing things you don’t enjoy, e.g. going to noisy bars after work for a drink you don’t want to drink, listening to music you don’t enjoy, stealing the quiet Friday evening you hoped for. I understand the pressures, but I promise you that in the long run – and we’re all here for the long game – good work gets noticed and drinking/partying/golfing/etc. with colleagues is totally overrated.
You can choose your own path and how you’ll walk it
Relationships are important, but YOU are in charge of building those relationships and there are many places far away from restaurants and golf courses where you can build your career.
Ask yourself these two questions:
caption for image
-
Does this activity force me to make sacrifices I will regret?
-
What will I truly get out of ignoring my authentic self?
A mantra I use is “if I go down this path, can I look in the mirror each morning with pride and confidence?” Or do I sacrifice my values and go against how I’d like to spend my time?
We started with a discussion on extroversion and introversion. Many of the choices in our professional lives are influenced by these tendencies. The most important consideration is to stay true to yourself, because you always have options.
If you’re an extrovert, go out there and network in the ways you enjoy, meeting people, attending dinners and more. If that sounds like your worst nightmare and you still want to build relationships, use pages like LinkedIn to engage in conversations with people. The connections you can build there are just as valuable for your long-term career.
Don’t feel compelled to change who you truly are, because you can succeed in your own way.
I promise.
Have a great week!
Eva